…Marriage is not a competition…
About a month ago, there was a trending topic in Indonesia where a 16-years-old boy got married with a 71-years-old woman, which is as old as my grandma. How come a 16-years-old boy fall in love with a grandma? It doesn’t make sense although many people said that love doesn’t get affected by age. But still, 71 minus 16 is 55 right? Well, this is what I called B L I N D. They said that they will kill themselves if they don’t get approval to get married. So, why did they really really want to get married? Actually, I have no idea, but based on my opinion, there are 2 possible answers. Either that kind of LOVE really exist, or they only want to “having fun”. Usually, a woman interested with a rich guy, or handsome guy, or a really good one, or prince-charming, and so on. But, I don’t see any possible reasons in that 16-years-old boy that will make the grandma interested to him. Even, financially, he haven’t had enough money because he hasn’t get a job yet.
Now, maybe that was just one out of 100 cases that has been exposed in media, maybe there’s a case where a 13 y.o. girl get married with a 70 y.o. grandpa, or maybe it’s her own grandpa, and so on. But, here’s to all women and girls out there. Go get high education first before you decided to get married. “High education” here means, well, maybe at least you should get Master Degree. What if you don’t have enough money to get that degree? You could get a scholarship, or work a few years after graduated to save money, etc. There are many ways to get there, but it’s your own choice, whether you have an intention to get it or not at all. Basically, you can do anything with a strong intention, and nothing is impossible when you give it all to The Almighty.
EDUCATION IS A MUST. An educated woman doesn’t always mean nerd. Chelsea Islan, for example, has got many awards in her young age. She encourages every women to use their time productively and to be an inspirer to others. Maybe you’re afraid if you’re going to be the last to get married when most of your best-friends have married. Keep in your mind that marriage is not a competition, it is a relationship with strong commitment. To build the commitment, you’ll need some times to ensure yourself and your spouse. That’s why to have a good relationship is not a piece of cake. I’ve ever discuss about marriage and partner with my brother, and we’ve come to a conclusion about partner’s principle. Your partner is in God’s hand, but if He says NO, then you won’t be with him. There must be someone better than him that He has prepared for you, so what are you afraid of? And you —girls and women all over the world— sooner or later will become a mother.
A mother is going to teach her child to become a good kid, a smart kid, a kind one, a leader, and so on. Then what? You’ll absolutely need a good intelligence, because you’re the one who’s going to teach your child. If you have a son then you don’t know how to teach him about generosity, then he’ll become an arrogant man later. If you have a daughter then you don’t know how to teach her not to be a materialistic one, then she’ll become a selfish woman later. And to teach them is not simple. For women, you’ve passed the puberty phase, right? Then you must be remember how annoying you were. That’s if you’ve got a child, how about 2 children? twins? triplets? 4 children? Sure you could handle them to be good men and women? To be a leader in your country or influencer someday?
In the beginning of marriage, you’ll having fun with your husband, you’re going to be the queen, you can do anything in your “new life”. But 15 years later, who knows some of you will be apart, some will get bored, some will have fights everyday, etc. You can not guarantee that your marriage in the most amazing party will be the most peace family in the world. All you can do right now is just do your best to be the best mother for your children. Don’t let love break you down, but let it keep your spirit up. And here’s one of my fav quotes.
Go to school until you know that you’ve been fooled, and you know the school can’t fooled you anymore. // Sekolahlah sampai engkau tahu dirimu dibodohi, dan kamu tahu sekolah gagal membodohimu.
— Cak Nun
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CHILD AND THE UNIVERSE 