MATTER

“…Human do have limits…”

‘that looks good on her’, ‘should I buy that too?’, ‘she could do it? i can do it too, even better’…

Those are just little things that matter to somebody most of us. But, why?
Why are those things really matter to us?
The answer is: our human nature.

Since we’re a child,
we really want to be like somebody, we want to try everything,
we’re Curious.

As we grew older, some of us treated (in our family) to always be the best
or at least be a better one.
We’re ensured that we are not different from others, because
we were born in the same country, we’re eating the same kind of food, we’re raised in the same school.
It made us think…
What’s the difference?

 

That’s why social media is a powerful tool to change people, to feed our curiosity, to feed our ego, the child part of us.

Now, many of us when opening the social media and uploading the post or stories or status, feel like we have to get like more than the most popular friends,
or even some of us feel like we have to upload stories whenever and wherever we are
to STATED that we are doing something (busy), that
we are not alone, we are popular, we are kind.
ok.

Have you ever think for a second?
What is all that for?
If it’s just for popularity, just sit down in your room, deep thinking, and ask yourself
What is the purpose of your life?

It’s not easy to answer that question, and many of us really don’t know our life goal(s).

Second, not only in social media, I often found even my surroundings have a ‘greedy’ side. Greedy is

having or showing an intense and selfish desire for something
(Oxford Dictionary)

Let’s make it clear,
greedy and ambition are different, everyone may have ambition in their own fields;
for example you have a high willingness to learn from anything anywhere anytime, that’s called an ambition.
But it turns out to be a greed when you have a high willingness to learn
but only keep it for yourself and
you don’t like to see anybody who’s have a high willingness to learn too, you just don’t like it.
You feel like that you have and must be the one that know everything so well.
That’s greed, my friend.

Ambition is good, because

intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings.

When you feed your greed routinely, it will grow, into much much greed.
Careful, know your limit.
Sometimes, it is ok to admit that the other person might do something like you, or even better than you, because you’re not the smartest person in the world,
you’re not GOD.
you’re HUMAN.
And human do have limits.
But the universe don’t, so we need companions to lift up each others.

When you’ve admitted that you have limits, you could swept away the greedy side, so when you open the social media, you’ll be like…

she’s pretty, i’m blessed to have a friend like her,
that place looks like good, maybe i should ask her to go together,

At that point, that is where you could be the ‘I DON’T MIND’ people.
You don’t mind not because you can’t do it,
but because you know everybody could do it,
and you keep telling yourself that YOU ARE YOU,
that don’t need any evidence to proof everybody.

So, yeah, human have something called ‘human nature’, and it is just happens like that,
but human also have freedom to choose everything, even to not following our human nature.

Last, I’m going to tell you, that I’m blessed to be one of the ‘i don’t mind’ people since a kid. I always believe in myself that I don’t need to proof anybody who am I. I will let people judge me by their own experience with me, that’s why I’m not denying if there are some people don’t like me, scared, or even love me so much. Those people illustrating who am I, and it’s really diverse.

For you, the one that struggles with this problem, you can try my suggestion above, or even try to read this book: Mark Manson – The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, they said it’s great.

It's not the world that is too demanding,
it's you that are not loving yourself.

 

pic: Google.

Mistaken Mistake

I am proud of making a  good mistake. – Unknown

Human make mistakes. It is our nature. How many mistakes you’ve made today? Even if we already know it is our nature, yet many of us are afraid of making mistakes. In school, we have been taught for years that there is a primary classification: the right stuff and bad stuff. When we did the bad ones, we will be punished. Punishment gives various reactions towards everybody, some of them will be afraid and then trying to obey every rules, the result is: they will grow up being a perfectionist. It has been set in their mind that mistake is bad and they need to stay away from it.

School has taught us moral values, but it didn’t taught us the immoral values; concept of making mistakes. Common problem after graduating school: fear. Fear of not getting a job. Fear of making mistakes. Fear of losing money. Fear of taking risks.

So, is it really wrong to teach moral value?
Absolutely not,
but we should also teach kids about the function of rule and punishment.

Teach them not to be afraid of rules, that it is okay to make a mistake,
that there will be always consequences in their life, that they are not alone,
and that they could be who they are.

Of course I’m not saying that making mistake is always good, but the fear of making mistake is worse. It could affect many aspects in our life. Ideas will take a longer time to generate, creativity will be reduced, along with increased guilty feelings. When you skip an opportunity to take risk, and the other day you know that you should’ve take it, you would have a guilty feeling, and it will haunted some people for days.

And along the way, after we’ve grown up, we knew that not every mistake is good and not every mistake is bad. The good person doesn’t always good, and the bad person doesn’t always bad.

When we talk about ideas and creativity, we should take a look at Mozart and Beethoven. Fur Elise didn’t become a well-known song in a day. Beethoven has made more than 300 compositions and took many years to get Fur Elise, and so did Mozart. It is also applicable to all scientists. They would do trial and error a hundred times to get a Nobel Prize. Not limited to business and startup field, you’ll need to try harder smarter.

The key is this. The more you fail, the more you’ll try, the more you’ll learn, and that is the point to be the next level. It doesn’t mean that you’ll have to fail fast, as Adam Grant said in his book ‘Originals’:
Most of the successful businesses brought by the originals.
And those originals do not rush.
They would think about the business concept for months, as it needs to be ‘mature’.
Well, it is ok to be a procastinator, it is one of many ways to generate an idea.

Besides all those stuffs, afraid of making mistakes will lead you to become a ‘fixed person’. Compare to the ‘growth people’, ‘fixed people’ is less likely to ask others about themselves. For them, it is quite hard to take down their ego and pride in front of others. It is quite hard to be humble. Asking others about your strengths and weaknesses could improve yourself to become a better one.
Possibility to gain more jobs will increased.
And most important, you will live a happier life.

For the one with ‘fixed mindset’, try to ask anything related to you with your family or close friend. Prepare yourself to get the worst answer, ask them what is the best solution to overcome your weakness, and DO IT.
It all starts with your mind.
What kind of person you wanted to be?

pic: Google

NEW YEAR #2019

As they said, New Year means New Days, New Life, New You. Most of us will look back at 2018 before take a step into the New Year. I used to evaluate myself in 2018, from listing out my strengths, my weaknesses, and my insecurities. Asking my close friends and family about my strength and weakness give me a kind of spirit to go through 2019.

We are humans, and we could make mistakes, but we have many opportunities to fix them, to improve ourselves year to year.

Starting 2019, I’ve been thinking about how to make a 2019 resolution, in order not to repeat it in 2020.

Think About What You Want to Change In 2019

This idea often comes from your weakness list. Go ask your best friends, beloved spouse, or even family about your weakness, be open-minded, admit it, and don’t take it as offense. Just be truthful about yourself and don’t forget to list it.

Besides other people, you could try asking yourself. It is called self-reflection, means you ‘talk’ and interact with your deep soul. You and only you could introspect yourself. Taking a long prayer could also help.

You could also start a change by removing your bad habits. Things like laziness, for example, could be changed by making up your bed every morning. Now, my father always said that wake up in the morning will gives you a better feeling than afternoon, even if it’s holiday. I don’t know why, but I think that’s true, whether it’s because the fresh air in the morning or something, but it is better to wake up in the morning.

Well, the point is to plan a better routinity.

I have attached my 2019 resolution at the end of this article.

Also, try to read William McRaven – Make Your Bed to give you inspirations.

Set Your Goal(s)

Setting your goal is an important thing. If you want to be healthier, don’t just put ‘become healthier’ in your resolution list. Make it more detail, ‘going for gym twice a week (every saturday and sunday)’ and ‘always have salad for dinner before 6 pm’ is far better.

‘Read min. 2 books/month’ is better than ‘Read more books’. When you said the last one, you will confused yourself about the exact amount of ‘more’. In the end, you’ll find yourself more likely not making any progress.

Remember not to set a difficult goal that can’t be accomplished. In return, you’ll only get a dissapointment at the end of 2019.

Nike Said: Do It!

Useless if your 2019 resolution is only a PLAN and you don’t do it. Again, I bet it will only be repeated in 2020. The key is to have a self-discipline. Most of people enjoy 2019 by doing what they like, if you really have an intention to change yourself, try to tell your family about your resolutions and you need help. Tell them to remind you to go for a walk in the morning and give you a little treat per week when it’s accomplished.

You’ll be motivated to get up in the morning the next week. But make sure not to depends on them too much.

Self-discipline starts from little things, such as wash your dish after having lunch, wash your clothes, trying to stay away from gadget for 5 hrs/day, pray every morning and night, and many more.

I think punishing yourself for not making any progress is a good idea if you’re really lacking of self-discipline. Every time you forgot to wash your dish, you have to do 5 push ups per dish. Interesting. You’ll have a healthy body every time you forgot.

 

#2019 Resolution

Read min. 2 books/month
Go to gym every Sat
Learn to cook min. twice/week
Engage more w/ friends
Spend more time w/ family
Save money 200k/month
Invest in reksa dana (PT or PU)
Continue blogging every 2 weeks
Try freelance as writer

pic source: google

THE CHILD AND THIS UNIVERSE

“… but when she looks up into this universe, she feels like a child,…”

The child is just an ordinary child, well actually she’s 18 y.o. and definitely not a child, but when she looks up into this universe, she feels like a child, while the universe is her father. He has many galaxies with many planets in it, and the child is now sitting in one of the planets in one of the galaxies, named Earth. The Earth is like her mother, the child learns many things from her mother, but her mother is somehow hard to be understood, because she has many things in her. She has living things, such as animals, humans, plants, and microorganisms, she also has other things that God has made, from the seas, horizons, and so on. Besides the things that God has made for humans, she has things that humans have made for helping others, such as telephones, books, ice creams, etc. The world is complicated to be understood by an 18-years-old child. But this child never give up, she knows that she’s not eternal, so she only had a limited time, and she uses it to understand her mother. She is interested to know her mother deeply. And she learns, learns, and always learns…

 

And she found that she loves it, now, this is about her universe

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